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Feb. 27th, 2013 09:54 amI wrote a whole entry and had to stop to put out a fire and lost the entire thing. Sigh.
I am in a better place than I was yesterday but I am still struggling to find peace in the mess. I am identifying things to take off my plate, I am trying to think through conversations I need to have in business and at home to help me be more successful and build trust again. Struggling to find the grateful moments. I went to bed at 8:30 yesterday, completely and utterly emotionally and physically spent. We tend to underestimate the stress we carry being a true, physical burden. My exhaustion is a sign of all my heavy responsibilities lately. Carrying them all on my own has not been working.
There was a moment on my commute in this morning where the mostly full moon hung in the cornflower sky next to the stark white steeple of the Baptist church across from the cupcake shop. My breath was stolen. I watched the moon nearly all the way to work until it disappeared behind a dense purple-pink cloud bank, I felt like I’d lost a friend. But by the time I got to work, the sun was coming up to take its place, fiery reds and oranges slowly changing the pale purple-pink of the cloud to a resounding, resilient gold. The trees were black silhouettes against the sky’s vast canvas, remember, self, that shadows are not always bad.
I stood up to look over my cube wall about twenty minutes later and the sun was hitting the mountains like a song hits the heart – singing vibrantly and spring-like. It looked like magic. And before I knew it, I could see other heads popping up and people whispering to their cube mates to stand up and see. Everyone needed to see the sun after yesterdays persistent deluge of rain and sleet. Like sunflowers, more and more people stood up in a silent solidarity, turning our faces to the mountains and appreciating the new day we were all given. It was enough to make tears sting my eyes for a moment as the hush erupted into excited chatter about what a gorgeous day today will be.
What a gorgeous day today will be.
I am in a better place than I was yesterday but I am still struggling to find peace in the mess. I am identifying things to take off my plate, I am trying to think through conversations I need to have in business and at home to help me be more successful and build trust again. Struggling to find the grateful moments. I went to bed at 8:30 yesterday, completely and utterly emotionally and physically spent. We tend to underestimate the stress we carry being a true, physical burden. My exhaustion is a sign of all my heavy responsibilities lately. Carrying them all on my own has not been working.
There was a moment on my commute in this morning where the mostly full moon hung in the cornflower sky next to the stark white steeple of the Baptist church across from the cupcake shop. My breath was stolen. I watched the moon nearly all the way to work until it disappeared behind a dense purple-pink cloud bank, I felt like I’d lost a friend. But by the time I got to work, the sun was coming up to take its place, fiery reds and oranges slowly changing the pale purple-pink of the cloud to a resounding, resilient gold. The trees were black silhouettes against the sky’s vast canvas, remember, self, that shadows are not always bad.
I stood up to look over my cube wall about twenty minutes later and the sun was hitting the mountains like a song hits the heart – singing vibrantly and spring-like. It looked like magic. And before I knew it, I could see other heads popping up and people whispering to their cube mates to stand up and see. Everyone needed to see the sun after yesterdays persistent deluge of rain and sleet. Like sunflowers, more and more people stood up in a silent solidarity, turning our faces to the mountains and appreciating the new day we were all given. It was enough to make tears sting my eyes for a moment as the hush erupted into excited chatter about what a gorgeous day today will be.
What a gorgeous day today will be.
