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Nov. 6th, 2023 08:52 amIt was a hard weekend over here.
Brenner came home from school Friday and said he was really, really tired. Didn't feel great. I Had to bounce back up to work for last-minute Friday call, so I wasn't downstairs when they got home - but Nicole took his temperature and he was at 101. Great.
He slept downstairs and stayed isolated in the back room to try to keep the rest of us healthy. Which was fine. But hard on him because he felt so puny and felt isolated. Even though we didn't put any limits on his videogame time or tablet/computer use at all. Funny. Most weekend he'd really WANT that, but when you're sick - it's just not as fun/hits different.
He was also sick to his stomach at 8:30 on Friday night and his fever was in the 102* range, so Nicole and I decided we'd shift sleep so an adult was close by (on the couches downstairs). I was supposed to get up at 5:00 and relieve her. But I was kind of hoping for a sleep in on Saturday ... so I set my alarm for 5:30 thinking that if she was sleeping, maybe I'd get about 30 more minutes. But at 5:01 on the dot, she came into the bedroom and was like, "It's 5:00. Get up." She got me out of bed so gruffly and fast that I forgot to remove my mouth guard. I barely had the wherewithal to pull myself together before blearily stumbling from the room. I had to take a trip back up to grab my glasses off the nightstand and put my mouth guard away.
Turns out that all of her landscaping work last week aggravated her shoulder/neck/arthritis problem and she was like a bear with a thorn in her paw. She didn't sleep on the couch at all and came upstairs angry about it. I'd already agreed to go trail running with Ashton at 9 - so going to bed at 5 AM for her, I was optimistic that I could get the kids all settled with what they needed and she might be able to sleep until almost 11:00.
But she couldn't sleep in the bed, either. She came downstairs all salty about me going running and telling me she'd "see me in three hours" because I'm a slow(er) trail runner. We had six miles planned on a trail we know pretty well ... so my feeling were hurt. Hour and a half to two hours is about average for us at that distance on that mountain ... but she was grumpy and mean about it. We finished in an hour 49 minutes AND we even got lost in the woods. We made an error: Going the opposite (counter clock-wise) direction on the loop. In the fall where the trails are already obscured by leaves and everything looks different. Lessons learned.
At one point, Ashton realized we were lost (red blazes were suddenly orange) and she was like, "Hey! New trail!" And she just kept running. My brain was like, "Wait, what? Should we turn around? Are we lost? Will we get MORE lost? What's happening here?" And then I literally felt myself mentally shrug and was like, "Eh. Whatever. I'm sure this is fine." And just kept following Ashton on this trail. What's the worst that could happen, right? We eventually (like a quarter mile later) found the road and were able to reorient ourselves and go back down the parkway to our trail. So it was fine.
The rest of Saturday consisted of Nicole taking down Halloween and starting to put up Christmas. Taking care of Brenner whose fever was all over the place Saturday. And hanging out with Brooks. I feel like I MUST have done something else on Saturday ...
... Oh, that's right! Mona was here. Our college friend brought over her second grader because she had a work event/art opening to attend, so Mona was with us for a few hours. We watched the new Haunted Mansion together and it was fun. (Brenner in the back room. Poor baby.)
And then Sunday happened. Daylight savings is always a trip. Constantly feeling like you're an hour behind even when you're grateful you had an extra hour of sleep (which we just reliably started getting again with older kids).
We also had the Grace Potter concert on the schedule. Y'all. Nicole and I went to see her together a few times pre-kids/pre-pandemic and were trying to go see her Floyd Fest 2020 that cancelled due to global pandemic. Ashton saw she was coming back in August and was also a fan (having seen her in New York as a grad student when Grace was touring closer to home/Vermont) and asked if anyone wanted to go with her. Nicole and I did. But then Brenner was sick on Saturday. He was fever free on Sunday and I was like, "It's probably okay for you to go..." But she felt like she couldn't ask her mom to watch Brenner. Sigh. So - I had this choice of going to Grace Potter with Ashton or cancelling.
... And I elected to go. I've cancelled all races/plans with Ashton/running friends to accomodate Disney and other things, the last thing I wanted to do was bail on her the day of a concert. She probably wouldn't have gone alone - but maybe? Anyway. There was a lot of Drama around here with Nicole having FOMO and me electing to go anyway. We had a raised-voices moment where Nicole was angry at me for always going and doing things with my friends and I had to point out that she is literally invited to ALL OF THE THINGS. She always tells me no. This is the one time she said yes AND Brenner was fever-free and feeling better - if she wanted to go, I'm sure her mom would have helped. But she didn't want to run the risk of exposing her mom to germs. (Even though the minute Karen knew Brenner was sick, she was down here in his room. She did wear a mask, though.)
Anyway. It was rough. I felt caught in a very sticky situation. But I went. And it was worth it and fun and I'm super sad Nicole couldn't/didn't go because it was a great show and she would have had a great time. SIGH.
I got home after midnight and she barely talked to me. I tried to talk to her but it was very cold-shoulder, so I just went to bed.
AND got myself up this morning after 5.5 hours of sleep to have coffee and make the kids breakfast and do all the things I'm supposed to do in the morning because I didn't want any additional fall-out from my choices. Yes. I was tired. Did I WANT to sleep in? Yes. I did. But I got up.
But when it got to be 7:00, Brooks was awake and said he didn't feel like going to school. Brenner ran a fever last night (the one piece of info I did get from Nicole at midnight) and was already leaning toward saying home (not information I got from Nicole last night) - so when I went upstairs to check on/wake Nicole at 7:00 and told her Brooks wasn't feelin' it, she acted like they'd already decided the kids were staying home? Brenner kept bemoaning the fact that he didn't feel like he got a weekend and at some point Nicole had told them they could stay home today because the public schools are out ... and there was a distant thought (before fever) that they could hang out with their besties and play hooky today ... but all of this was in a fuzzy space and I wasn't sure what was happening. Especially because the kids have an algebra test today that they both were acting like they had to take yesterday ... But. Brenner was sick and didn't study, he doesn't feel 100% today and Nicole *would* have taken Brooks to school, but since he wasn't feeling like it (which is rare), she leaned HARD into not taking him so she didn't have to drive across town ...
... All that to say that Nicole got to stay in bed and get more rest while I still had to get up and do all the morning things and go to work. The kids were up. They wanted breakfast. The dog needed care. And I wondered somewhere inside if this hadn't already been decided/proposed last night and Nicole didn't tell me at midnight intentionally because she was still salty about Grace Potter. (To be fair, she did get up before 8:00 - so it wasn't MUCH of a sleep-in. But if I had known, I would have gotten up at 7:00 and not 6:20 like normal.)
I mean, probably not. But in my overly-tired, already-emotionally-triggered, afraid-I-upset/disappointed-my-spouse-with-my-choices brain, it all made sense to me as I was fighting back tears smearing Nutella on a waffle. She's not a vindictive person, usually. Not with me, anyway. But I could tell she was really upset yesterday and feels like I do things with my running friends all the time. And she was salty that this was live music. She's the one who really loves live music and a lot of the time I'm not one to run toward those events. But, to be fair, they're not Grace Potter, either.
I thought I had to work Veterans Day. But Turns out, I don't. Short week. So I asked Nicole this morning if she wanted to go hiking on Friday with me instead. She said yes. So maybe it's a start.
Brenner came home from school Friday and said he was really, really tired. Didn't feel great. I Had to bounce back up to work for last-minute Friday call, so I wasn't downstairs when they got home - but Nicole took his temperature and he was at 101. Great.
He slept downstairs and stayed isolated in the back room to try to keep the rest of us healthy. Which was fine. But hard on him because he felt so puny and felt isolated. Even though we didn't put any limits on his videogame time or tablet/computer use at all. Funny. Most weekend he'd really WANT that, but when you're sick - it's just not as fun/hits different.
He was also sick to his stomach at 8:30 on Friday night and his fever was in the 102* range, so Nicole and I decided we'd shift sleep so an adult was close by (on the couches downstairs). I was supposed to get up at 5:00 and relieve her. But I was kind of hoping for a sleep in on Saturday ... so I set my alarm for 5:30 thinking that if she was sleeping, maybe I'd get about 30 more minutes. But at 5:01 on the dot, she came into the bedroom and was like, "It's 5:00. Get up." She got me out of bed so gruffly and fast that I forgot to remove my mouth guard. I barely had the wherewithal to pull myself together before blearily stumbling from the room. I had to take a trip back up to grab my glasses off the nightstand and put my mouth guard away.
Turns out that all of her landscaping work last week aggravated her shoulder/neck/arthritis problem and she was like a bear with a thorn in her paw. She didn't sleep on the couch at all and came upstairs angry about it. I'd already agreed to go trail running with Ashton at 9 - so going to bed at 5 AM for her, I was optimistic that I could get the kids all settled with what they needed and she might be able to sleep until almost 11:00.
But she couldn't sleep in the bed, either. She came downstairs all salty about me going running and telling me she'd "see me in three hours" because I'm a slow(er) trail runner. We had six miles planned on a trail we know pretty well ... so my feeling were hurt. Hour and a half to two hours is about average for us at that distance on that mountain ... but she was grumpy and mean about it. We finished in an hour 49 minutes AND we even got lost in the woods. We made an error: Going the opposite (counter clock-wise) direction on the loop. In the fall where the trails are already obscured by leaves and everything looks different. Lessons learned.
At one point, Ashton realized we were lost (red blazes were suddenly orange) and she was like, "Hey! New trail!" And she just kept running. My brain was like, "Wait, what? Should we turn around? Are we lost? Will we get MORE lost? What's happening here?" And then I literally felt myself mentally shrug and was like, "Eh. Whatever. I'm sure this is fine." And just kept following Ashton on this trail. What's the worst that could happen, right? We eventually (like a quarter mile later) found the road and were able to reorient ourselves and go back down the parkway to our trail. So it was fine.
The rest of Saturday consisted of Nicole taking down Halloween and starting to put up Christmas. Taking care of Brenner whose fever was all over the place Saturday. And hanging out with Brooks. I feel like I MUST have done something else on Saturday ...
... Oh, that's right! Mona was here. Our college friend brought over her second grader because she had a work event/art opening to attend, so Mona was with us for a few hours. We watched the new Haunted Mansion together and it was fun. (Brenner in the back room. Poor baby.)
And then Sunday happened. Daylight savings is always a trip. Constantly feeling like you're an hour behind even when you're grateful you had an extra hour of sleep (which we just reliably started getting again with older kids).
We also had the Grace Potter concert on the schedule. Y'all. Nicole and I went to see her together a few times pre-kids/pre-pandemic and were trying to go see her Floyd Fest 2020 that cancelled due to global pandemic. Ashton saw she was coming back in August and was also a fan (having seen her in New York as a grad student when Grace was touring closer to home/Vermont) and asked if anyone wanted to go with her. Nicole and I did. But then Brenner was sick on Saturday. He was fever free on Sunday and I was like, "It's probably okay for you to go..." But she felt like she couldn't ask her mom to watch Brenner. Sigh. So - I had this choice of going to Grace Potter with Ashton or cancelling.
... And I elected to go. I've cancelled all races/plans with Ashton/running friends to accomodate Disney and other things, the last thing I wanted to do was bail on her the day of a concert. She probably wouldn't have gone alone - but maybe? Anyway. There was a lot of Drama around here with Nicole having FOMO and me electing to go anyway. We had a raised-voices moment where Nicole was angry at me for always going and doing things with my friends and I had to point out that she is literally invited to ALL OF THE THINGS. She always tells me no. This is the one time she said yes AND Brenner was fever-free and feeling better - if she wanted to go, I'm sure her mom would have helped. But she didn't want to run the risk of exposing her mom to germs. (Even though the minute Karen knew Brenner was sick, she was down here in his room. She did wear a mask, though.)
Anyway. It was rough. I felt caught in a very sticky situation. But I went. And it was worth it and fun and I'm super sad Nicole couldn't/didn't go because it was a great show and she would have had a great time. SIGH.
I got home after midnight and she barely talked to me. I tried to talk to her but it was very cold-shoulder, so I just went to bed.
AND got myself up this morning after 5.5 hours of sleep to have coffee and make the kids breakfast and do all the things I'm supposed to do in the morning because I didn't want any additional fall-out from my choices. Yes. I was tired. Did I WANT to sleep in? Yes. I did. But I got up.
But when it got to be 7:00, Brooks was awake and said he didn't feel like going to school. Brenner ran a fever last night (the one piece of info I did get from Nicole at midnight) and was already leaning toward saying home (not information I got from Nicole last night) - so when I went upstairs to check on/wake Nicole at 7:00 and told her Brooks wasn't feelin' it, she acted like they'd already decided the kids were staying home? Brenner kept bemoaning the fact that he didn't feel like he got a weekend and at some point Nicole had told them they could stay home today because the public schools are out ... and there was a distant thought (before fever) that they could hang out with their besties and play hooky today ... but all of this was in a fuzzy space and I wasn't sure what was happening. Especially because the kids have an algebra test today that they both were acting like they had to take yesterday ... But. Brenner was sick and didn't study, he doesn't feel 100% today and Nicole *would* have taken Brooks to school, but since he wasn't feeling like it (which is rare), she leaned HARD into not taking him so she didn't have to drive across town ...
... All that to say that Nicole got to stay in bed and get more rest while I still had to get up and do all the morning things and go to work. The kids were up. They wanted breakfast. The dog needed care. And I wondered somewhere inside if this hadn't already been decided/proposed last night and Nicole didn't tell me at midnight intentionally because she was still salty about Grace Potter. (To be fair, she did get up before 8:00 - so it wasn't MUCH of a sleep-in. But if I had known, I would have gotten up at 7:00 and not 6:20 like normal.)
I mean, probably not. But in my overly-tired, already-emotionally-triggered, afraid-I-upset/disappointed-my-spouse-with-my-choices brain, it all made sense to me as I was fighting back tears smearing Nutella on a waffle. She's not a vindictive person, usually. Not with me, anyway. But I could tell she was really upset yesterday and feels like I do things with my running friends all the time. And she was salty that this was live music. She's the one who really loves live music and a lot of the time I'm not one to run toward those events. But, to be fair, they're not Grace Potter, either.
I thought I had to work Veterans Day. But Turns out, I don't. Short week. So I asked Nicole this morning if she wanted to go hiking on Friday with me instead. She said yes. So maybe it's a start.
